What I’m Watching Because I Can’t Watch What I Want: The Affair

We got rid of cable a few months ago. Now, in hindsight, I can comfortably say that it was the worst decision we’ve ever made, and we once decided Long Island Iced Teas were an amazing nightcap. Here was our reasoning:

  1. We hated Comcast. mostly its mindboggling fees and crappy customer service. (To which I say to my former self: Who cares? You’re the worst on the phone.)
  2. We felt like we were paying too much. (To which I say to my former self: Internet is the expensive part, ya dumdum. And now you have to pay Netflix, HBO Now, Hulu, and Amazon Prime subscription fees. And your husband – who runs a podcast about the Washington Wizards – has to watch those games at a bar, for a $20+ tab each time. Not to mention the amount I’m going to have to shell out on a hostess gift for whoever lets me watch”Dolly Parton’s Coat of Many Colors” on their couch as many times as I darn please.)
  3. Cutting TV would reduce idle time around the house and enhance the quality of what we view. (To which I say: You. are. insufferable.)

So, henceforth, I’ll be profiling Things That We’re Watching Since We Can’t Watch What We Actually Want to Watch, Which is TV.

The Affair

The Way We Watch It: Google Chromecast via the Showtime Anytime app. We are using a friend’s cable login to gain access to the app. She is our daughter’s Godmother, and part of her holy duty is to share her TimeWarner information with me. I’d share it with you, t0o, but that would be completely inappropriate in the eyes of God.

What’s It About? Two British people (Ruth Wilson as Alison and Dominic West as Noah) talk like Americans and have an affair like Americans during an American summer in Montauk. There’s a pack of hot brothers who own a horse ranch, a teenage boy with Crohn’s Disease, Maura Tierney with bangs, and a murder.

The story is told from alternating perspectives, which is intriguing. However, no matter who is telling the story, Noah is always the turd.

What’s the Most Mysterious Thing About This Murder Mystery: I don’t know if it’s the brightness setting on my TV, but Ruth Wilson always looks like she’s eaten a black ballpoint pen before each scene. Why? Not sure. I guess anything goes in Mantauk! (I should also look into the settings on my TV).

What to Expect A Lot Of: Noah’s thrusting butt cheeks and Joshua Jackson’s furrowed brow. Both are tan.

How Spicy are these Maura Tierney GIFs? Ghost pepper.


Why We’re Still Watching: Honestly, the writing is good and we’re invested in what I think is a masterful plot. Also, butt cheeks.

What I Would Rather Be Watching: The Affair, but on my DVR, not on a janky app that’s hard to pause.

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